A Hard Day

I was tired today - as I have been a lot lately. I have seem to have lost some energy and I have a feeling why. I don't sleep well - the slightest thing will wake me up and I will then lie awake for hours hoping to fall back to sleep - getting more agitated by the moment.

I am not eating right - I feed the girls first around 5:30pm and we (or me alone if Andy is working late) usually get around to having dinner after they go to bed. I used to love cooking - now it just seems like a chore. I rarely fix myself something healthy if he's not here because I am dead tired. Frozen meals - cereal - sandwiches - low hassle.

I need to get my act in gear. I need to lose a lot of weight (that's a whole other post in itself). I need to start moving. I lay awake at night promising myself that I will do an exercise video the next day (we get them free through our cable service) or take a walk after the girls go down. When the time comes - utter exhaustion comes over me. The girls occupy my every thought and breath and they not only physically exhaust me - but mentally, too. Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love being home with them and I feel lucky that we can afford this - I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just have days now and then when I feel like I am going out of my mind.

I look at some of my friends with envy - they seem to have so much energy. Their homes are beautiful - they cook - they DO things. I know that once I start exercising my energy will increase. I hope so.

I joined a new blog group: OSB, which stands for Operation Skinny Bitch. :) I am hoping that being part of a group of women who have the same goals as me will help.

I apologize if this was a downer post - but it is a real one. Thanks for listening.